Wearing a tutu

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the music behind me

when my heart pops open

and little lights flood out

sweeps the frames into curves

and balances the center point onto my toes

it tells a bit of the story

I can’t

the part where what I see and hear and feel

and what I know

are all one thing

and are not 

at all


the interstitial bits

the empty blackness 

of what we call space

that is time

filled with the mighty potentials

of dark matter

the mighty potentials of what is not 

at this moment


the music 

weaves a form in front of me

a resplendent silk

the dress athena wove and wore for her quiceniera

curves and ruffles as light a cream


I trace with the lights from my heart

the curves of silk

knitted together 

gathered in soft

buttery ruffles

just like the rugae in my gut

the tender knowing of tripe

octopus flesh

softened by 

water


my hand sinks into the silk of this dress

and I am lost in the tenderness of this artisanal weave

I am flushed with embarrassment

what it makes me want to do 

wrap that silken ruffle around my naked body

let it caress my cheeks

let it hold me

like the opulent unknown

of the music of my heart

taking flight into dark matter

and finding

the fact 

of touch

at the core 

of my universe



I was a dancer before I was born

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I was a dancer before I was born

color trails color
footsteps spring life
folding sensations
of poetry
into light
waves of mallow made dense
with impenetrable light of song

song rolls through me
and rolls through me again
my knowing
my poetry
my light
woven and kneaded
laminating layers of pain and grace
shadow and light
folds upon folds
upon folds

footsteps glow
even now
even now
my footsteps glow

The Thirsting Tree

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The Thirsting Tree

I

Who are you, hiding there?
peeking through a curtain of legs
questioning my intentions

she stands hands on hips
wide black belt
pencil skirt in black with silver silken polka dots

her gaze
if anywhere
is down
her skin milky 
her lips red
and a sharp pink defines her cheek
and that nose
and that hair
it can only be hers

I imagine what it might be like if she started to breath
if the faces behind her started to speak
and the jungle at her right
started to vibrate in color
and come alive

Like
the wind that moves my hair
like the roots that ground 
this chinese elm into this desert soil
this thirsty tree
in the desert

II

We* are the chinese elm
finding a place to survive
because we obliterate the other 
gentler ecosystems

because 
we can
we do

bully
and bulldoze
and explode

whiteness
is a thirsting tree in the desert
not asking
assuming 
all the water is for it
not gifting with respect
but taking with a raging heart
and the hunger of ghosts
that have been forgotten

III

The legacy of freedom that my four greats grandfather sought—
he did not know at what price it came
and he did not know that humans all belong to each other
and he did not know
what it would cost us that he forgot his home
and he did not know what it would cost us 
that he saw himself 
his god
as perfection
the standard by which humanity should be measured

IV

A forest in the desert—
it does not belong
but it persists
it persists

until it cannot any longer

*this poem about my white legacy, my whiteness. We refers to my family, my american white people